Welcome back everyone. Today’s post is on how to advocate for yourself with a disability. I know that my brother lacked a lot of self confidence growing up. He was shy and did not really interact with a lot of people. My parents and I made many decisions for him without getting his input. This meant that he didn’t have the ability to plan his life or choose his own path. I learned much later in life that if you try to plan for someone else and do not seek input from them; ultimately they won’t care about the plan at best or actively rebel at worst. Even if those plans are in that person’s best interest. No matter who it is or what their intentions are, the best person to make a decision about your life will always be you. Learning to advocate for yourself if a very hard skill to learn and even harder to master. But, it is the first real step in taking control of your life.
Know What You Can Do
Ok great, I need to learn to advocate for myself. Now how do I do that? First, you need to remember everyone has limits. Don’t feel bad if your limits are different than others. The way I like to see it, is that at some point everyone breaks. For example if there is a person that has a wheelchair, one limit is not being able to use the stairs to get to work. Now let’s say we have a person with no disabilities, no one would say it is reasonable to ask them to walk up 30 flights of stairs to get to work. So why is their limit acceptable and your is not? Knowing your limits and accepting them is key. Everyone has limits and just because yours are different doesn’t make you less, it makes you human.
Know What You Want
What are the things that are most important to you. I would recommend creating 3 lists. What are the non-negotiable things, what are the things you can be flexible about, and what are the things you don’t really care about. Requests will come up all the time in life and knowing which list to place them can save you a lifetime of pain. For example if you suffer from disability and need to see your doctor on a regular basis. Then one day you boss asks you to begin work on a new project the requires you leave the city for a month. Knowing that having access to your doctor is non-negotiable puts you in better footing to deal with this request. Imagine if you accepted that request and halfway through the project you realized you needed your doctor. This would be a terrible situation. Never compromise on the non-negotiables.
Know The Law
I wish we lived in a world where everyone understood everyone and that no one acted like a jerk, but unfortunately we don’t. Knowing the law and understanding what other people are legally allowed or not allowed to do can really pull your butt out of the fire. Now let’s go back to the previous example of the employer asking you to travel for a month out of the city. If the original job duties do not state being able to travel as a requirement for this job then the employer might not be able to force you to do this, in order for you to keep your job. If your employer then fires you if you refuse, due to your condition you might have a case to take legal action against your employer. It is really unfortunate but on top of suffering from disabilities, it is common those same people to also suffer from discrimination and other illegal actions. The law is put in place to protect everyone and that includes you.
Know You Are Allowed To Speak Up
You are allowed to ask questions and make requests and demand for your rights. Speaking up can be really scary. You may feel like you shouldn’t bother others with your problems or you are being difficult. To that I say, let other people speak for themselves. If you ask for something, typically the worst thing someone can do is say no. But there is always the chance they might say yes. If you say nothing then you are guaranteed to not get what you want.
Practice speaking up in small low pressure situations. Work your way up the stressful high pressure situations. With time and practice you will become better at advocating for yourself.
Challenge Time:
Hi everyone, today’s challenge is to post in the comment an example of a time you advocated for yourself. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, every time someone speaks up it’s a win for us all.