Stress, it is something we have all complained about before in life. But what exactly is it? What is stress? Simply put, it is the body’s reaction to dealing with threats and danger in the environment. The good old fight or flight response. Stress can speed up your heart rate, heightens your senses and give a rush of adrenaline. In short bursts stress can help us to accomplish critical tasks that need to be done.There are plenty of examples of stress helping us out, such as a rabid dog jumps out at you from the bushes. Stress kicks your body into overdrive so you can run the hell out of there.
Stress like everything is good in moderation. Having too much stress for a prolonged period of time is not good. This can lead to problems sleeping, depression, heart disease, and a whole host of other problems. So how do we manage stress.
Cause vs Emotions:
In my opinion, there are two components to managing stress. First is dealing with the cause and the second is the relieving of stress. The first step to dealing with the cause, is to define it. Take time to reflect on life and see what is stressing you out. Does the stress happen at the same time every day or week? Is it caused by a person or the environment or your living situation? You have to get specific. It is not enough to say I am stressed because of work. Break it down:
- Is it the deadlines?
- Is because of your co-workers, clients, or bosses?
- It is because of your performance?
- Are you working too long?
The more questions you ask the better. Once you have really drilled down to the core of the things that are stressing you out, now ask what can you do to change them. Let’s go back to the example:
- Is it the deadlines? (Can I ask my boss for an extension or additional people to help)
- Is because of your co-workers, clients, or bosses? (Can I speak to whomever to develop a better working relationship? Can I switch to a different department?)
- It is because of your performance? (Who can I ask for help, what training is available to me?)
- Are you working too long? (Can I schedule a vacation, can I quit or switch jobs?)
This is where I usually get stuck, I would just say to myself this is life and I can’t change these things. I have learned that in most cases that is a load of crap. There is no harm in asking, the worst case is they say no. I was once working on a project with a deadline for Monday. I was stressing out all weekend. Monday came and I found out from my boss that we could have pushed that deadline back to next week if I have only asked. Morale of the story is to ask questions to change assumption to facts. Now that you have all the facts, you can start making a plan to deal with the situation.Now that we have a plan to deal with the cause, time for focus on relieving stress. There are a lot of different strategies to dealing with stress. I am going through a few that I have found particularly helpful.
Keeping good physical health:
This is eating a healthy balanced diet. Basic rule I like to follow is 1/2 of your plate should be filled with veggies, 1/4 of the plate should be grains, and the remaining 1/4 should be a protein source. Next is sleeping. Everyone should be aiming to get 8hrs of sleep. Also make sure to sleep at the same time every day. Finally exercise! Make time for it no excuses. It doesn’t have to be going hardcore a the gym, simply walking outside can make a world of difference.
Dealing with the worst case scenario:
Now this may seem counter intuitive but imagine the worst case scenario, and what are the consequences. Then think about how you could adapt to those consequences. Let’s take our previous example with work. What is the worst case scenario,in this case it is getting fired. Now what exactly are the consequences of losing your job. You don’t have a source of money and cannot afford food, rent or transportation. How do we deal with this consequences? Maybe you can’t live at your current place but maybe the option of living with other family members or friends. Also you don’t get kicked out of your home immediately as you lose your job. There is time to start looking for another job so you might not have to move at all. Now we come to the positive consequences. Yup that’s right positive consequences. For example if you got fired from your job that probably means you were not a good fit. Now is your chance to find a job that you actually enjoy. I myself have been fired before and let me tell you it was a F****ing blessing in disguise. My old job was far from home, I was working for a jerk boss hated the projects. My new job has an awesome boss, I can now walk to work and love the project and got a nice little pay bump to boot.
Face Your Fear
This is a neat little trick that I picked up. It only has two steps. Step one is to write down on piece of paper your worst case scenario that you fear the most. Step two is to read it out loud. It is very important that when you read it out loud not to fantasize about it. Don’t think about your future or consequences or how people will react. Just say what’s on the paper. Going back to work example, write down “worst case scenario is getting fired”. Then repeat saying it, say it over and over again. Keep saying it until you are completely desensitized to your worst case scenario. This trick basically forces you to become bored with your worst case scenario. It is bizarre how quickly your mind can become with bored even with scariest of things.