Our last post was on how people with disabilities can communicate to those without disabilities. However, that post focused on the actions the person with disabilities can undertake. This post will focus on the actions persons without disabilities.
How to Speak:
When speaking to someone with a physical or mental disability it is important to remember you are talking to another person. A disability does not define a person it is something they have. So speak to them in the same way as you would to anyone else. Some common things to avoid. Don’t talk loudly or speak unnaturally slowly to them. How would you feel if someone yell “HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY”. It would be weird and awkward.
Another thing to remember is to use person first language. Example of person first language is a man who is blind vs a blind man. It is subtle, but it shows that the person is important, not the disability. Also during introductions don’t bring up their disability just for the sake of bringing it up. For example “this is Jackie my co-worker” instead of “this is Jackie who needs a wheelchair”. No one appreciates being introduced with a disability. It would be the same if I said “oh there is Kyle with diarrhea”, just weird for everyone involved.
One common mistake that happened a lot with me and my brother is that people would speak to me directly about things concerning my brother. There would be whole conversations where they you not say a word to him. This is incredibly common for people disabilities and especially so, when they have a support person with them. Please remember some disabilities make it difficult for people to maintain eye contact or sit still. It doesn’t mean they aren’t listening. Even if there is a support personnel around, still try to speak evenly between the two of them.
Be patient during conversations. There are some individuals that need to take their time when speaking. Do not rush them or try and finish their sentences. Could you imagine if you were talking to someone and every two seconds they kept cutting you off. How annoyed would you be? Now imagine that happens all the time. As tough as it can be for you, just know it is far worse for them.
Offering assistance:
I am sure that most people when seeing someone in a tight spot would like to try and help. Helping your fellow humans is great, but how we go about doing that is what we need to discuss. Unless someone is about to die, don’t do things without their permission. Remember a lot of people with disabilities have been dealing with them for years, if not their entire life. That means they have probably adapted useful ways in order to get things done. So always ask first, as they may be fine on their own.
Also remember to be mindful of their personal space, this includes medical devices (ex. wheelchairs) and service animals. Do not touch, unless the person has given permission. Consider wheelchairs, canes and other such equipment as an extension of the person. You wouldn’t want some stranger grabbing onto your arms. Another thing to keep in mind is that all people are different. Just because one person in a wheelchair was appreciative of you pushing them up a hill, does not mean all of them will be, so ask before hand.
Relax:
Seriously just relax. As long as you approach with an open mind and treat everyone as an adult, you will be okay. Be aware of your assumptions and ask questions when you are unsure. Let the person with the disability explain how they want to be treated. They just want, what we all, to be treated like a regular person.