When I was growing up with my brother I found myself trying very hard to hide my brother’s mental disability from others. Some kids would bully him because he was “different”, while other kids straight up avoided him and pretended he didn’t exist. Looking back it was pretty obvious they really did not understand him and his needs. Growing up in this world, it is impossible to have a healthy lifestyle in isolation. Everyone needs to connect with other people. Which leads to the obvious question, do I tell people about my disability and if so, how do I go about doing that.
When To Speak Up:
There are so many circumstances when the question of whether or not to explain you disability to another person. Should you explain your situation at work, with friends, romantic partners, strangers on the street. Your health is a very personal topic and no one can force you to talk about it. You don’t have to be the spokesperson for your particular disability. However, I would recommend explaining you accessibility needs with other people when it affects you. For example let’s say you have a physical disability that affects your ability to walk and your are purchasing airline tickets. You don’t need to go into detail about your disability but you can say I have a condition that impedes my ability to walk and I need additional time to get to a connecting flights and access to a motorized wheelchair. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Always ask politely, if you don’t then you have guaranteed your worst case scenario. In the airline ticket example, the worst case is having the airlines say no to your request, if you don’t ask then you have guarantee this situation.
Explaining your disability at work. Honestly, this has to be done on a case by case basis. There are times where you have to disclose a disability in order to get resources to be able to perform your job properly. However, you need to factor in discrimination. Telling an interviewer that you have a disability, regardless of whether or not it affects your ability to perform the job duties will affect how they view you. It can cost you a job. In Canada and most 1st world countries there are laws against this type of discrimination but it does happen. In Canada as of 2016 the national unemployment rate was 5.8% however the unemployment rate for people with mild disabilities was 35% and for severe disabilities a whooping 74%.
Explaining you disability to family and friends. I know it can be scary explaining a disability to loved ones. Will they stick around? Will they look at me with pity? How will this change the relationship? When it comes to friends and family, I am of the opinion that “those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter”. Trying to hide who you are and what you are going through can be very exhausting. When you tell people either one of two options with occur. Option 1 they will understand and stand by you. Which is great knowing you have awesome people around you and you don’t need to hide. Or option 2 they turn tail and run, which will suck at first but is good in the long run. People like that would probably not be there for you when other hard times come around. Now you know and can go looking for better people to include in your life.
Explaining yourself to strangers. Now I find there are generally two types of people. Type 1 are the people who already have a judgement and nothing in the world is going to change their mind. These are the types of people who will look down at you as being lesser or think that you are faking the severity of your disability. For these types of people don’t bother explaining, it won’t work and you will feel worse afterwards. Let go and move away from them. Type 2 are people who don’t understand but have an open mind. Now you got a choice. You don’t have to be the spokesperson for your disability. If you don’t feel like it, then don’t. But the more awareness we put out into the world, the better it gets. Just remember it can be hard differentiating type 1 and type 2 people. The open minded type 2s may say some hurtful stuff just out of ignorance. So keep that in mind and don’t immediately write someone off.
What To Say:
There are two parts to explaining you disability. Part 1 is explaining your accessibility needs. Explain what you can and cannot do. Also explain what type of resources you require in order for you to interact with the world. It can be, I require more time, I need a medical device, I need a support person, etc. Keep it clear and concise.
The second part is more educational. It is explaining how your disability affects you personally. Honestly analogies are really helpful. Check out the link below for how other people have explained their own disabilities.
Challenge time:
Today’s challenge is the next time the situation presents itself, explain your disability to someone else. Please share what happened in the comments section below.